This year I come out of the closet

And admit that I am HFA

High Functioning Autistic

No such diagnosis when young

I only have meltdowns once a year

But everyone deserves a meltdown

My mother, back in those days,

Knew how to deal with noisy children:

Pull the hair, pinch the cheeks

Until we stopped

Thought I was an alien

At school, and later work

If I was a wolf

In a tight pack

Would have been driven out

Then, a few years ago,

My Gen Prac doctor casually said,

“Oh, you didn’t know you’re HFA?”

Tested and yes, I am

So I’ve decided to

Embrace my inner clown

Not a Seinfeld-funny one

Just odd

Just master (mistress?)

Of the inappropriate


Somewhat unsure

If people are joking or serious

A bit stiff if a stranger hugs me

Overwhelmed by flashing lights

And large crowds

Although I learned to navigate in

The day-to-day and night-to-night


Homo autistica

I coined that word in a previous poem

We’re a new, evolutionary breed

There are so many of us on

Different levels of the spectrum

Too bad I didn’t land in the

Land of Savant autistics

Like Bill Gates

But at least I’m an Earthling

I think…

© Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)


  1. Great poem! I have a cousin who is high functioning autistic. He’s only in middle school and is one of the smartest people I know. I learn something new every time I talk to him. I have another good friend from high school. Smart guy, thought outside-the-box, and was a bit zany. I didn’t think anything of it, because I’m outside-the-box myself. Found out years later that he was high functioning as well. I had no idea! I just saw him as a normal person, because he is. We’re all just people, and we all think differently. We need more abstract thinkers in this world! Thank you for sharing! Infinite love and wisdom to you! =)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, jampope17! You are so right that we are all just people. I wish infinite love and wisdom to you, too! (you have a great way with words!) 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this, such a great poem! My best friend’s little boy is a high functioning autistic and we have a such a special bond, I embrace his uniqueness and wouldn’t change a single thing about him! Happiness to you!


    1. Thanks so much! I’ve made it through a lot of years with a minimum amount of damage to self-esteem, so “hopeful” is definitely a good description for all of us. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Neuro Typical? No Way! and commented:
    Look past the functioning labels and this is a great little piece.
    I don’t know that I agree with the new evolutionary breed thing, I think we have always been around actually.
    Homo – Autistica- Nice.


    1. Thanks, Richard. I have mixed emotions about labels. I lived so long without one and felt really confused about life. Now the medical community has explained me (sigh) and I somehow feel better 😦 Where to draw the line, though…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is fantastic. My daughter has much of the same experiences and feelings, but cannot always express in words as you have done so nicely. Thanks for posting.


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