Was I too flighty as a teen

Or did Gran become forgetful

While aging

Who knew how old she was anyway?

She always lied about the age thing

But so youthful and fun

That no one cared or noticed



Slowly, she revealed her secrets

Of the universe

As they applied to a drabarni


Yet, like her famous apple cake recipe

She left out the most important ingredient

(Oops, she said, forgot to tell you to use apples)


This time

She neglected to tell me

How to move through life

With the least amount of trauma

How to heal myself

So I would be able to heal others


Didn’t notice that omission until she passed

But in the flush of thirty-something

When the ego was at full-rage

Thought it was easy to figure out

Since I was good at guessing

Merely a process of elimination:

Toxic food, toxic addictions

Toxic people


Forgot the missing ingredient

The secret of life

Only available through self-reflection

Didn’t occur to me until too late


Sprinkled with

A sense of humor

Must be liberally added

Or there is no apple cake


After years full of tears

I finally raise my arm

Anxiously waving my hand

At the universe

(Call on me! Please! I have a question!)

But I am ignored

So just shout out the words:

“May I bake another cake?”


© 2016 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)