alone

#3 EMPRESS/#4 EMPEROR

We see them sitting separately
On thrones and different cards
She is the third
Fecund mother, healer
Generating
Emanating
Flowers and herbs
Nutrition and health
He is the fourth
Authoritative
Stabilizer
Protector
Together they create
Universal love, but
Like lonely Sand Hill Cranes
Searching for the mate
Unless they come together in a reading
They remain apart
It’s such a big old world
How to decide
Where to abide
And with whom
Background music
Train whistle
A Minor and E Minor chords
Hurtling through the night
Reminding us we might
Be lonesome and alone
Forever
Forever hoping
To meet
Side by side
On a table top
Where seeker and guider
Interpret this rare combination
So close in the cards
But not
How we hope
How we say
Don’t shuffle …

(c) 2019 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
Image: #3 Empress/#4 Emperor

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STRENGTH #8

(another w-i-p for my upcoming book)

From where does your power emanate
Are you silent, thoughtful, or brash
What gives you the strength to continue
Love, anger, friendship, family
Yes, all of these bring power
But when we walk alone
Through sickness or anguish
Through grief or approaching death
Can you call upon your symbols
Mine are words and music
Plants and stone
These are tactile representations
Grounding me yet forming
A fortress of protection
No one can ever breach
A place to heal
So I can return
To those I treasure
In my quiet
But often solitary
Life…

(c) 2018 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
IMAGE: Berry Winter Among the Gargoyles

 

THE HERMIT/KAPURI W-I-P

So sure we were meant
To be together
But when I searched,
The Book
Was checked out of the Akhashic Library
Then I knew
All true in my mind
But never yours
Never a part of
What Must Be
You were never here with me

Scratching the moss from a rock
Our names appear entwined…

Lonely fantasizers
Fighting the addiction
Like losing a best friend
No more pretending
You
Merely a hologram projection
Particles and light
Visiting me in the night
I imagined being loved
Being happy
Instead of being lost
But how can I blame
What isn’t there
Except in my mind
Me
Can only blame myself
Can only be by myself
Reclusive in reality
And in fantasy

Fantasy traded for introspection
Also a solo endeavor…

9 Kapuri card

(c) 2018 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
IMAGE: HERMIT, non-attributed Tarot Card (Full Moon Tarot blog)
& Kapuri, Drom Ek Romani

FLUNKING GEOMETRY

Perpendicular grid
Reminds me of that
Old Geometry mnemonic:
X to the left, Y to the sky
Yes, you’ve zoomed up the matrix
Not reacting to the psi
While I struggle along
Fire-in-a-trench route
Round and round
We intersected, briefly
At the point of origin
Held my breath
Hoping you’d want to try
Being a coordinate pair
Before you floated into the air
But you never acknowledged me
We continued on
Relentless geometric graph
Never to say hello
Though I whispered goodbye…

(c) 2018 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
IMAGE:AMULETS: Math, Travel & Music

ISLAND IN A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Haunted by youthful dreams
Too late to reinvent myself
Island metaphor strongest
Easier to be alone

There was Java
Circumscribing a mineral world
Of left-over lava
Decorating via fatal eruptions
Merapi volcano cosmology
Of fire-breathing dragons
Would I exist on a moon-like world

There was Fiji
Divided by time
Could stand there with one foot in today
And one in tomorrow
Or is it yesterday
Where the international dateline
Bisects the 180th meridian

Pieces of land
Floating in oceans
A fish net
A water purification kit
A lifetime supply of Vitamin C
It could have been easy
Sand or dirt a magic slate
Whatever written washed away
By tidal spray

There were other islands
Of song and book
But now that I look back
It is clear that the island experience
Was lived as I moved through droves of
Endless people
Smiled. laughed, talked
But they all must have been
Particles of colorful matter
Because I, the deportee
Now see
That the island is me…

(c) 2018 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
IMAGE: posted on YouTube by Placers, Merapi Volcano

“TOUCH NO ONE”

black rosary beads curtain
disguising world wormhole
sitting in a capsule
bed, computer, guitar
closed off from the lights
stretching so far
revealing desires
not ready
not
cannot
part the beads
and look out the window

*Paul Simon “I Am A Rock”

(c) 2018 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)

IMAGE: Beaded Curtain, Creation of Ami Wolf and Jin-Yo Mok

OH (song-in-progress)

 

Universe saturated in darkest matter
Endlessly echoing senseless chatter

Voicing inconsolable thoughts, feeling susceptible
To ambiguous influences barely perceptible

You want me? Then ring the salivation bell
I’m one of Pavlov’s willing dogs in hell

Gibberish scratched on an ancient papyrus
Counting rejections on a neon-lit abacus

Quotidian day dreams nudge me through life
The birth of my ideas require a midwife

Calliope music cranked in restless weather
Promises thunder down, weighing less than a feather

Oh, oh, oh, baby I’m going
Like water and lava, salty tears flowing
For you
For me…

(c) 2018 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
IMAGE: Round & Round

OBSESSING, NATURALLY…

(photo from FB Memory set me off about leaving on Thursday)

Morning

Exhausted

From little to no sleep

I’m a mass of

White-pink-gray-blue

Brains or intestines or

Pile of pythons

Primal soup solidified

Try to untangle

Thrown into the void

Falling

Dogs desert me

As I hurl myself to safety

Thoroughly awakening

To what type of day?

Oh, no, I’m going away

From the swamp

From the ginger

From the dogs

From the music…

 

What makes people

Want to travel?

Is it easier with

Sister or Brother

Friend or Lover?

I’m used to being alone

Will eventually feel okay

Do wish, though

There was someone to hold onto

While wading through strangeness

And strangers

Oh no, I’m going away

From the swamp

From the ginger

From the dogs

From the music…

 

© 2017 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)

Image: CS from FB Memory 2014 with ginger