Lost myself
Mostly in a good way
When retired
Got to play
Ukulele
Write poetry
And strumming-type songs
Found a new self
So I thought
But as long as I live
With another in my space
Nothing changes
Roommate in my face
Left early, first light
Hardly ever drive
But I drive to
A Burger King drive-through
Haven’t had cholesterol on croissant in years
But I do, while gulping the largest black coffee
Arguing with seagulls
It’s like I find myself
Back in pre-retirement
And no, not working
But yes, working
Blue Gulf, blue sky
White clouds
Gulls cry
I do too
So I type on my phone
Doing social media stuff
Drinking fast-cooling coffee
Sitting in steamy sun wearing black
Shirt and boots
Like some little dominatrix
But I’m not
Just want to look thinner
Even if it’s hot
Just want the security of being able
To kick an attacker in the shins
Wearing my vegan boots
If needed
But gotta go home sometime
Face the day
The reality show of my life
Wish I wasn’t so emotional
Must be my Moon in Cancer
Doesn’t harmonize with
My Sun in Aries
Id, Ego
Does it matter that my Superego
Is Libra Rising
Or do all these astrological influences
Keep me from moving forward
Growing up
Must say
Despite this beach being a small sandbox
It is finally quiet
And I’m decompressing
And I’m ready to return
Into the Now…
© 2017 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
IMAGE: Seagull staring at me, Green Key
