denial

IN THE CLOSET

 

Confessed autism

Honesty not always best

Some non-autistics scared

Think we violently meltdown

Read: murderous

(Witnesses doomed to burn)

At best we seem stiff

Read: weird

(Because we don’t like the touch of strangers)

At worst, we seem iffy

Read: untrustworthy

(Because we don’t march cadently)

How about that occasional

Inappropriate comment

Sorry, I thought it was funny

I see it’s not

Hey, where you going?

(Another friend lost)

So where are all those people

Who want to mainstream us

Struttin’ around

Writing books and speeches

Raising money

But will you be my friend?

Will you hang out with me?

“We’ll get together soon…”

Yeah, I heard that line

From a Harry Chapin song

Read: NO

So seems I was smart

Being in denial for years

No one ever knew

But then, I woke up

Thought I could be true

To me and you

But here’s my realistic view:

Sometimes it is better

Not to emerge from

The autism closet

Unless you have a superpower that others want

Read: fame, fortune

But some days you’ll know

Who the real friends are

And they will appear

Mysteriously

To brighten your days…

 

© 2017 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)

IMAGE: CLOSET (Pinterest: no attribution)

 

 

THROUGH A GLASS, AUTISTICALLY…

Woke up from a dream

Lifetime-long

A Blues-in-the night song

Relief, at first, remembering

And being re-diagnosed

Autistic

It all came back

The 80s therapist

Son is autistic

So are you

Not much info

Denial

Dream-time

About me

Would, of course,

Want to encourage him

Although I felt it was merely

Creativity

Now, now I accept

My uniqueness

Hah! Good synonym for loneliness

For being pelted

With rolling eyes

Impatient sighs

And me

Living in the dream

That I was just like you

And you

And you

But no

But no, not true

But no, please

No pity

No lies

I yawned and stretched

Got out of bed

And heard the truth

Inside my head

Where do I go from here…?

© 2017 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)

IMAGE: November Selfie