i.
Women & children & dogs waiting
Always waiting
For the man
What’s a woman to do…?
ii.
Today,
While cleaning spilled ground coffee
From the counter
With a knife edge,
Flashbacked to
The one time
A neighbor
Introduced me
To meth
Watched her
Draw straight lines
On a plexiglass cutting board
Using a razor blade
Her Borzoi hound also watched
As she fumbled around for a dollar bill
From a Gucci purse
Such a beautiful young woman
In a House-Beautiful apartment
How I wished I was her
And couldn’t understand
Why she wanted drugs
When her life was so much nicer
Than mine
She showed me how to snort the meth
Dollar bill conduit to paradise
iii.
Within minutes
I was yakking away
I get high from tylenol
So this was no surprise
We sat up the entire night
(Our men were, well, who knows where?)
Yakking away
Neither of us listened to the other
Until she said, “Let’s decorate your pad!”
Went to my apartment
Carrying rolls of psychedelic contact paper
That my neighbor placed on the walls
And then we hung
Indian spreads she no longer wanted
All over the ceiling creating
A bower for the bedding on the floor
(Who knew where he was anyway?)
iv.
Yakking away
Yakking away
Hoarse
And I kept thinking:
Someone please stop me
From talking
From walking
From wanting to scream and run
Hysterical laughter
Punctuating every comment
Yakking
Heart racing
Stop this feeling and I swear
I will never do drugs again
And I didn’t
Well, maybe an occasional toke or two of
Weed for medical reasons
Like my gran with her bottle of booze
For medical reasons, she said
But rare, so rare
The natural state is best for me
Contemplation, not yakking
One of the few smart decisions
I made in my life…
© 2015 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
IMAGE: www.steppingstonecenter.org
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