I’m a cursed Gypsy
Without the convictions
Of my predictions
Life would be a hell of a lot happier
If we could foresee
Consequences accurately
And make the proper choices
In years past
Presiding over a deck of cards
Adding to the colorful silk diklo
Spread across grass or shag carpet
Or on a scarred kitchen table
Able to say
With authority
This and this and this
Will be
You must do that and that and that
In order to be happy
To be the best
And find the truest outcome
In life
At least for this month
Of questioning
So sure was I
So right
Most nights
Dispensing fortunes
Advice
To the aethers
And the anxious ears of others
Only one time did I lie
Reading for a young nursing student
A line of cards that never appeared
In all my years of tarot
A terror of all fourteen Swords
Every one
As if from a newly unshuffled deck
Appearing with every undesirable card
My face, an autistically truthful face
Unable to hide my horror
“What?” she screamed
Knowing
Oh, suicide, so sure
Why did I lie
Why did I let her through the door
I knew, she suspected
But I was intent on
Smoothing life over
When I should have begged her
To seek professional help
I failed her and said,
“Rough days, they will pass”
Although she was a stranger
And I never saw her again
I’m sure those rough days
Did pass
I’m sure she passed
I missed my chance
To truly help
“Do no harm”
My Gran said
When teaching me
The life of a drabarni
A healer
And that is why I chose
To do no harm
By doing nothing
By rejecting who I am
Who I could have been…
© 2016 Clarissa Simmens (ViataMaja)
IMAGE: HOMEMADE TAROT CARDS FROM 2000
You did no harm ❤
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Thank you, Hunter. Haunted, but hoping I was wrong…xo
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You did what you thought best. That’s all any of us can do.
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Thank you, Mary Cathleen! Deep down I know that but it helps so much to hear others reaffirm ❤
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As much as we’d like to, we can’t see into another’s mind. Please don’t beat yourself up.
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